True Story #15

Okay, hot news...
So there I was at the Music Video Awards, obviously seated at the VVIP seat, when I saw this:

And I was like:

 

True Story #14

The greatest feeling on earth is the feeling you get when after reminding yourself to bring something which will is important, you still end up forgetting to bring it:

True Story #13

In the context of a serious in-class discussion regarding social values and riots, the subject of the ongoing turmoil in Libya was brought up. Then, the world's smartest creature alive spoke up:

True Story #12

And so the story goes;

My friend and I were at the ground floor in college, waiting for the lift to take us to the third floor. There we saw a guy banging on the 'UP' button as though he were in a rush that if not met would cost him his life. The clown eventually pressed the 'DOWN' button as well. And so the lift when down to LG before going back to G and then finally to level 1 where he got down. Here's my intake:

Why the *d*uck did you take the lift when you could simply climb 1 miserable flight of stairs?

Anyway, the story only got worse. On the very same incident, as we were in the lift and went down to LG ( which was the bottom most floor), the lift door opened to reveal two girls. They asked "Umm... Is this lift going up?" Here's my intake:

What the *d*uck do you think?! We're at the bottom-most floor!!!

To worsen matters, these two buggers left after going up 1 floor when THEY COULD JUST *D*UCKING WALK!!! However, I felt bad for not saying this instead:

It's soooo true when they say:

True Story #11

I personally think the world is getting more heavily infested with dumb blondes. A few days ago, I encountered another one of these mystical creatures:

And here were the following reactions from the animal kingdom:

With the Hornbill itself saying:

True Story #10

Interviewer: Excuse me, girl. May I ask, what is your favourite number?

 

Really? Negative Zero? Wow...

True Story #9

It's simply a blessing to live in a society that mispronounces the most basic of words.

What she meant to say:

What she said instead:
 

Girl, that be one LARGE size!!!

True Story #8

It has come to my attention that a new sleeping place for mankind has been discovered. We only have the following statement made (actually shouted across an entire stairway)  by a totally random stranger to thank for this life-changing discovery:

"Dude, the library is seriously the best place to sleep in."

True Story #7

Not too long ago, an Indian girl (who wishes to remain anonymous) told me in strict confidence, and full of passion and vigor;

"I have chocolate balls!"

Oops... Secret's out... Looks like I did it again...

True Story #6

Worms are dead ugly, and not to mention disgusting!

Sorry... I mean real worms, not the cute, adorable 3D ones on the computer screen with Holy Hand Grenades.

But then, there's only one thing more terrifying than worms...

 

FLYING WORMS!!!

True Story #5

True Story #4

Truth 1: Everyone has a written diary.
Truth 2: I have read everyone's diary.

Truth 3: I know all your innermost secrets, some of which are highly disturbing (as highlighted above).

True Story #3

It was on the morning of 31st March 2001, when I had breakfast with Queen Elizabeth II. It's true.

It was always good to have powerful friends.

True Story #2

Hey there, people with a higher IQ than me!

I just thought of telling you something that affects me most deeply:

True Story #1

 Umm.... Excuse me, ... if we like... sleep.... can we like... wake up?

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